Friendzone.
Friendzone
Aah, the friend zone, the metaphorical place when you can meet life slapping your face to the sad reality that you will never be for him/her (so I guess that’s the bad news), but don’t get me wrong, many people fall into this mostly feared “Zone” that everyone never wanted to go, but still fall to it. But let’s do the math here, what is the reason that you still fall into this zone? Is it your looks? Is it your smell? Is it your height? or Is it the “friendships last forever” thingy? According to PsychologyToday.com, “The "friend zone" refers to a situation where there is a mismatch in romantic feelings between two individuals. For example, sometimes this is a sexual attraction mismatch, where one person is interested in romance while the other wants to "just be friends". At other times, the friends are already sexually involved (i.e. friends-with-benefits), but there is a commitment mismatch, where only one person wants a "relationship" as a committed girlfriend or boyfriend. Overall then, the friend zone occurs in relationships where both individuals' emotional needs are not getting met. Someone is not getting what they want and need. Because all good relationships are built from a mutually-satisfying social exchange and trade, friend zone situations ultimately don't feel very good.”
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201302/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-girlfriend-or-boyfriend)
So maybe this has happened to you, my dear reader, you may say that you liked the girl/ boy and you’ve had a crush on him/her since high school but still he/she wanted to be just friends with him/her, and trust me that is a really devastating situation to handle especially when it gets to the point that you don’t know if you’re just going to pretend that you’ve didn’t hear what he/she said or just lose because you don’t want the friendship to be over because you still wanted to be with him/her. Heck, even myself experienced that a LOT of times, that’s a LOT of rejections compared to what you’ve experienced, according to MensHealth.com in their “4 Mistakes that Guaranteed to Get you Friendzoned”, these are the mistakes that maybe you did that made you fall into the friend zone, (I try to explain it myself so it was easy-to-digest for some, and because I do not want to copy the whole article, here’s the link: http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/four-mistakes-get-you-friend-zoned)
1. You don’t make your intentions clear! – Okay here’s the scenario, you’re now texting your crush for once. what would be the words or questions that should make her be interested in you, but then your brain says to “be smart” that’s why you take the opportunity very slowly, and because of that, her appeal to you is just nothing but just to be a friend wannabe, but hey, we all did that mistakes amirite? Maybe we’re just too nervous, but too bad because that nervousness caused us opportunities, so let’s try to handle nervousness right next time! That’s a lesson learned.
2. You lent her vent other guys- This point is really deep and hard-hitting so I’ll let them explain for this one, according to MensHealth.com, “Life is not When Harry Met Sally. Unless you get really lucky—or you take action—she's not going to wake up one day and realize that all the guys she's been dating are assholes, and that her true love (you) has been hanging out in her living room all along. You might think you're just biding your time, but the longer you wait, and the more you get to know her in a friend-type way, the more you risk ending up in her friend zone for life, says Thomas. It’s not your job to listen to her guy problems—she has girlfriends and guys who actually are just friends for that. “If you find yourself in the role of therapist thinking you’re going to get in her pants, you’re not only in the friend zone, you’re in the free therapy zone—and no woman wants to make love with her therapist who knows all of her neuroses,” Thomas says. “Do not be the recipient of all her neuroses and mistake that for intimacy.” And boy, doesn’t that hurt?
3. You’re trying too hard- In this situation, you’re thinking of a really expensive date or a very glamorous gift that you can give to her on a regular day, but guess what, psychology says that somehow it won’t pay back, because the more effort you give to her, the more you condemn yourself to the friend zone. You should just need to take it slow so that she would be more interested in what you have through time, because the faster you flirt with her, the more that you will fail, like in a car, the more you go faster, the more you will get crashed (Pretty dark,huh)
4. You’re afraid of rejection- you can’t blame anyone at this point because the only one who should be blamed here is You, according to relationship expert April Masini. “A lot of men are afraid of rejection, so to stave off that sting they simply don’t ask her out and instead become a buddy—a miserable, anxious buddy,” Masini says. Men really are afraid of being rejected because we expect things that will go our way like in imagination where we kiss our dream girl in a glamorous park, surrounded with people clapping at the both of you, unicorns flying high…, well actually the last one was just an over exaggeration but the point is, the more we’re afraid of being rejected, the more we live in fear in most of other things, therefore not having a relationship as a result as you’ve wanted, we just need courage to be a man that we should be, because if you’re not the perfect man for her, then fine, that’s an opportunity to find a BETTER one, because in every rejection is a lesson.
We can’t blame ourselves because of what we’ve said or what we did, what happens just happens, we can’t take it back, we shouldn’t base our lives to the drama we see on tv that every story ends in a happily ever after, this is the real life, this is the real world, you are the perfect man that someone would’ve wanted if you crush don’t see the potential in you, don’t try to change yourself completely because of that type you will be nuts and you might lose everything, be yourself, never be afraid of any rejections, do not waste any opportunity because everything happens to you for a reason. Jack Douglass from his YouTube Channel “Jacksfilms” proved this point to this segment “Jackask”, here’s the clip:
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201302/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-girlfriend-or-boyfriend)
So maybe this has happened to you, my dear reader, you may say that you liked the girl/ boy and you’ve had a crush on him/her since high school but still he/she wanted to be just friends with him/her, and trust me that is a really devastating situation to handle especially when it gets to the point that you don’t know if you’re just going to pretend that you’ve didn’t hear what he/she said or just lose because you don’t want the friendship to be over because you still wanted to be with him/her. Heck, even myself experienced that a LOT of times, that’s a LOT of rejections compared to what you’ve experienced, according to MensHealth.com in their “4 Mistakes that Guaranteed to Get you Friendzoned”, these are the mistakes that maybe you did that made you fall into the friend zone, (I try to explain it myself so it was easy-to-digest for some, and because I do not want to copy the whole article, here’s the link: http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/four-mistakes-get-you-friend-zoned)1. You don’t make your intentions clear! – Okay here’s the scenario, you’re now texting your crush for once. what would be the words or questions that should make her be interested in you, but then your brain says to “be smart” that’s why you take the opportunity very slowly, and because of that, her appeal to you is just nothing but just to be a friend wannabe, but hey, we all did that mistakes amirite? Maybe we’re just too nervous, but too bad because that nervousness caused us opportunities, so let’s try to handle nervousness right next time! That’s a lesson learned.
2. You lent her vent other guys- This point is really deep and hard-hitting so I’ll let them explain for this one, according to MensHealth.com, “Life is not When Harry Met Sally. Unless you get really lucky—or you take action—she's not going to wake up one day and realize that all the guys she's been dating are assholes, and that her true love (you) has been hanging out in her living room all along. You might think you're just biding your time, but the longer you wait, and the more you get to know her in a friend-type way, the more you risk ending up in her friend zone for life, says Thomas. It’s not your job to listen to her guy problems—she has girlfriends and guys who actually are just friends for that. “If you find yourself in the role of therapist thinking you’re going to get in her pants, you’re not only in the friend zone, you’re in the free therapy zone—and no woman wants to make love with her therapist who knows all of her neuroses,” Thomas says. “Do not be the recipient of all her neuroses and mistake that for intimacy.” And boy, doesn’t that hurt?3. You’re trying too hard- In this situation, you’re thinking of a really expensive date or a very glamorous gift that you can give to her on a regular day, but guess what, psychology says that somehow it won’t pay back, because the more effort you give to her, the more you condemn yourself to the friend zone. You should just need to take it slow so that she would be more interested in what you have through time, because the faster you flirt with her, the more that you will fail, like in a car, the more you go faster, the more you will get crashed (Pretty dark,huh)
4. You’re afraid of rejection- you can’t blame anyone at this point because the only one who should be blamed here is You, according to relationship expert April Masini. “A lot of men are afraid of rejection, so to stave off that sting they simply don’t ask her out and instead become a buddy—a miserable, anxious buddy,” Masini says. Men really are afraid of being rejected because we expect things that will go our way like in imagination where we kiss our dream girl in a glamorous park, surrounded with people clapping at the both of you, unicorns flying high…, well actually the last one was just an over exaggeration but the point is, the more we’re afraid of being rejected, the more we live in fear in most of other things, therefore not having a relationship as a result as you’ve wanted, we just need courage to be a man that we should be, because if you’re not the perfect man for her, then fine, that’s an opportunity to find a BETTER one, because in every rejection is a lesson.
We can’t blame ourselves because of what we’ve said or what we did, what happens just happens, we can’t take it back, we shouldn’t base our lives to the drama we see on tv that every story ends in a happily ever after, this is the real life, this is the real world, you are the perfect man that someone would’ve wanted if you crush don’t see the potential in you, don’t try to change yourself completely because of that type you will be nuts and you might lose everything, be yourself, never be afraid of any rejections, do not waste any opportunity because everything happens to you for a reason. Jack Douglass from his YouTube Channel “Jacksfilms” proved this point to this segment “Jackask”, here’s the clip:
(To watch the Whole Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1huAFcy3ww and please subscribe to him, he's really funny)
©The Opinionatery 2017
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